


Because I need you

by Sonamae



Category: Homestuck
Genre: After Scratch, Alternate Universe, Gen, Joined Worlds, Other, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-20 23:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/590768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonamae/pseuds/Sonamae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Karkat just likes to brag about his moirail, Gamzee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because I need you

 This is… different.  You feel awkward, tucked under his arm like this, but at the same time you don't think you've ever felt more relaxed, either.  At least when people aren't pausing to stare at the two of you as they walk by you don't feel like you're about to be set on fire.  It's like they've never seen moirails cuddling on a bench before, fuck.

 

 Even if you're both new to the whole… _moirail_ thing.  It's not awful, but you feel… well.

 

 You feel like you might not be cut out for this.  And yet, at the same time, you wouldn't change this outcome for anything.  Being here in the middle of a park, lip busted open and black eye swelling to match his broken nose and blood soaked shirt.  It's dried down the front while the snow has been falling around the both of you, and you wouldn't change it.

 

 This is where you _want_ to be, not where everyone expected you to end up.  And you like that.  You like that a lot.

 

\--

 

 You met Gamzee Makara in school and you didn't care.  He was just some tall, gangly troll who had a weird accent and awful hair.  So really, he was just like every other troll in the center.  The humans paid him no mind, and you could have cared less what happened to him.  He wasn't weird, he wasn't popular, he just… _was_.

 

 He had a few friends, and you were friends with a few of them, but you never really talked to or about him.  He'd invite you to his birthday parties and you'd go, get him a card and candy, but other than that he was just _Gamzee_.

 

 There was nothing weird about him.

 

 Middle school came around and so did puberty for the humans, and pupation for the trolls.  God you _hated_ pupation. You're pretty sure _everyone_ did.  Your skin was always flaking, you had a rash all the time, and you had _hormones_!  Fuck that noise, never again!

 

 You shot up like a pole, though, and while you weren't the tallest by far, it still felt pretty awesome to be taller than most of your friends.  Many of which wanted to be in some sort of quadrant with you at one point, and that was always weird as shit flying through the air in little clear bags with bows on them.

 

 You dabbled in dating, both troll and human alike, and honestly you have to say that you’d hated it.  Dating was boring, and after a while people just called you a narcissist and shallow. So you just stuck to your friends.

 

 Gamzee had better luck than you.  Not only did he shoot up like a weed, but he had the money to stave off his skin flaking with ointments.  You kind of envied him, but you always saw him giving out jars to his friends if they asked.  Gamzee became really popular really fast, and he went through trolls and humans like tissues.

 

He didn't even do it in a cruel way; the idiot just didn't know how to say no.

 

 If someone asked him out, he accepted, but within three days they'd leave him.  It was freakish.  You had figured that people would have caught on and stopped constantly confessing to him, but no.  People were and are _idiots_.

 

 High school landed the both of you in a math class that you hated more than anything in the world.  Gamzee partnered up with you and you begrudgingly enjoyed his company.  He was… well, really fucking smart.

 

 It didn't take long to realize why people fell for him, or why they would leave him just as quickly.  Gamzee was kind, honest, and charming as all hell, but he also cursed every chance he got, was completely oblivious to romance, and the dreaded bit:

 

 He was an atheist.

 

 Well, not really.  He actually told you he was just waiting for the right religion to come along, which you thought was hilarious as shit.  Nearly everyone you knew was a believer in either the Signless or Jesus, and here was this punk saying he didn't _care_.  And while you didn't either, your friends had this weird notion that religion actually mattered.  It was so laughable.

 

 'I think the fuckers _existed_ , sure as shit, but I don't think they was these all grand figures the books make them out to be.  I think they were just two souls who were too fucking kind in a world full of bastards.  They got the short end, they believed in something radical, but it got twisted the motherfuck up, so I ain't got no clue what is up and real in them religions.'

 

 You'd never wanted to hug anyone before as much as you'd wanted to hug Gamzee when he'd told you that.  Not that you yourself would tell anyone, but you didn't really believe the hype of religion either, even if you were a descendant of the fucking all grand shouter of the mighty last word and nook hugging pants.  Gamzee understood that and you got closer to him, but the two of you never stitched together.  High school spun you both through several groups of friends, and you found a few long lasting relationships.

 

 You were an astute match maker, and funny enough, so was Gamzee.  The two of you held it as a sort of unspoken contest, and as much as you begrudgingly hated to admit it, he was better than you.  After all, he was the one behind Nepeta and Equius.  You still have no fucking clue how he did that, but those two are so pale that you gag slightly whenever they walk by and lean close.  Equius' entire demeanor changed when Gamzee introduced him to Nepeta, and the two of them were inseparable after that.  _You_ never would have put them together, not even in your wildest dreams.  And yet, looking at the two of them argue and then make up sweetly with gentle nose kisses... you feel envious.

 

 But Gamzee just seemed to know.  He told you once that it was all in a smile.  You told him he was smoking horse shit, but you were secretly hoping it was true.  You love all that romantic bullshit, even if you don't show it.

 

 By senior year, you had Gamzee's phone number on speed dial, and you had decided to make him your personal project.  Project Get Gamzee a Something.  Worst mistake of your life really, because it led you to introduce him to Izrack, who led Gamzee to ICP and the 'Mirthful Messiahs.'

 

 This troll you'd gotten so close to did a 180 in a span of three days.  He stopped hanging out with you, his other friends; he started smoking; everything was _terrifying_.  

 

 You tried to make new friends to cope. Eridan and his moirail were great, but they were stuck up.  Sollux was amazing, but he was in a never-ending awkward matespritship.  So when college rolled around and Gamzee wasn't there to help you fix romantic bullshit, you put your foot down.

 

 Right on Izrack's left horn.

 

 You'd gone to Gamzee's hive, hoping that he still lived there, and found him fucked up on _sopor_ of all things.  Everything had narrowed down to holding his hair back in the toilet, ignoring your friends phone calls, and staying with a very violent and badly detoxing juggalo.  When you _would_ answer your phone, Gamzee would scream at you and they would worry, but you'd just tell him to shut up and get back to scrubbing the vomit off the kitchen floor.

 

 He had been clean a week.  Only a week.  He was cranky and clingy and all you’d wanted was a beer, so you'd gone out with Eridan and gotten back to find Izrack on Gamzee's couch with a fucking _sopor pie_ in his lap.  Gamzee was laying face down in his own vomit in the kitchen yet again, but this time there was green on his lips.

 

 You nearly _killed_ Izrack, but Gamzee had woken up and…

 

 He'd _shooshed_ you.

 

 You never told him how much it calmed you down, but it _had_.  It wasn't until you were having a conversation with your potential kismesis about 'how your ‘rail was doing' that it clicked.

 

 Everyone assumed it.

 

 Everyone but the two of you.

 

 While you were helping Gamzee detox all over again he'd been so angry at you that he came at you with his clubs.  You'd reached out and papped him when he got close, and he broke down sobbing into your shoulder even though he was about a foot taller.

 

 He’d gone on and on about how he’d always wanted a moirail; how he knew you would make some motherfucker so happy, and that he didn't deserve your pale affection.  _You'd_ told him he was an idiot and dragged him to have your first official feelings jam in an honest pile.  The two of you seemed to be inseparable after that.  It got you both into fights, but you were always the winners. 

 

 That’s how you both got here, sitting in the snow, wrapped up together.

 

 You shiver at the passing wind and Gamzee pulls you closer, sharing his insane furnace temperature.  You smile and close your eyes, looping his fingers with your own. "You need a matesprit.” You mutter to him.

 

 "And you want to spades that motherfucking albino human," Gamzee says back into your hair, voice muffled.

 

 "Not _all_ the time.  Sometimes I want to fuck Sollux, or Eridan." You smile at your own words.  Gamzee just laughs, that low honk he picked up from the religion you let him keep as long as he chilled his tits and never offered to paint your face _ever_ again.

 

 "You should go for Strider," Gamzee says.

 

 "You should go for Nitram," you say as you close your eyes.

 

 "I got you, though.  All I need is my diamond in the sky." He whispers.  You want to argue, but you don't.  You just squeeze his hand tighter.

 

 "Pale for you too," you whisper as he kisses the top of your head.


End file.
